The one where I whine about how disappointed I am and the rest of you tell me to get a life already
Last night was Kellen’s next-to-last game of the football season. I won’t be able to attend their final game next week, so to ME, last night’s game was the last. I place Kellen’s first season of football in the “positive experience” category because he’s learned a lot and had fun. (Mainly. When he’s not whining about having to go to practice. Apparently I birthed the laziest kid in America.) He likes his teammates and we’ve been nothing but pleased with the coaching. Although, it hasn’t been a season of huge victory. They’ve won less than half their games, and most of the games we have lost, we have lost big.
Going into last night’s game, we knew we were playing the team ranked last in the league. Not only had they not won a game all season, they hadn’t SCORED all season. Coming from a parent whose own son’s team has been “mercy ruled” this year ….. ouch. I know first hand how frustrating and disappointing that can be.
So while we felt fairly hopeful we would win last night, I was glad at the same time that our coach had some class and didn’t do everything in his power to crush the other team in the ground. Winning is fun …. there’s no reason to rub your opponent’s nose in it. (Yeah, we had our noses rubbed once or twice this year, too, and that was NOT my favorite part of the season.)
No surprise, I designated myself team photographer this year. I walked up and down the sidelines of almost every game, taking as many pictures as I could, not only of my own son, but of all the boys on the team. I am not — repeat, NOT – any kind of professional sports photographer. It’s just a hobby that I enjoy. And if I’m being completely honest, these are night games, played on small local fields, with less-than-stellar lighting conditions. None of the parents in the stands, with cell phone cameras, or even point-and-shoot digital cameras, have any kind of chance of getting any kind of decent shots. I’m not exactly set up for Sports Illustrated, but I do have a suitable lens that gives me, at the very least, a better chance than they have, so I don’t mind taking photos of everyone and sharing them.
I’ve gotten enough thank you’s from parents, and requests for the images, that I think people appreciate the gesture. Do I think the other parents are sitting around, waiting with bated breath, for each night’s images? No. Do I think a single person there cares as much as I do about the quality of my shots? No. Do I imagine there are folks on the team who haven’t looked at any of the pictures I’ve tried to share? Sure. And that’s ok, because from the beginning its been about me, and my enjoyment of photography, and it’s really not any more important than that.
At last week’s game, I had taken about five photos, when the automatic focus on my lens quit working. Just quit. I looked down to check and make sure I hadn’t flipped it to manual focus by mistake — nope. All my settings were correct, nothing was any different, I hadn’t dropped it or jarred it or anything like that. But, this was the second time this season it had happened. So I suspected something was wrong with the lens (that I had only purchased four months ago, and was still under warranty) and hoped I could get it repaired or replaced.
Anyway, I returned to the camera shop where I bought it and they agreed the lens was janked and would need to be sent off for repair. Since last night’s game was the last one I would be able to attend, they offered to lend me a replacement lens so I could still take photos. Unfortunately, when I went to pick up the lens yesterday, it had already been rented out to someone else. Day late and dollar short — story of my life.
I started feeling a wee bit of panic. “But I need that lens! This is my son’s last game and I neeeeeeeeeeeeed it! What are my other options?!”
Why, hello, camera equipment ….. almost like crack for Kristie.
They offered to rent me a Nikon camera with an identical lens, for half what they would normally charge. I think they felt a little bad for me, and the customer service there is really good.
I was a little worried about it, since my camera is a Canon. I know Nikons are good cameras, too, just that I wouldn’t know how to work it. And while I think a lot of photography, especially sports photography, is quite often the luck of being in the right spot at the right time, I also know that you have to have *some* idea of settings and light conditions and ISO and shutter speeds, etc, in order to make it work.
But really, having no other choice, I took the attitude, “Well, how bad could it be?” and off I went, after a quick, in-store tutorial on the Nikon.
Yeah.
That pretty much sucked.
I took 511 pictures (thank you, to the inventor of digital photography that allows massive quantity like that) and approximately 510 of them are total crap. The guy at the store put me in aperture mode, which was a mistake. The shutter speed wasn’t fast enough to keep the images from blurring. I tried fiddling with the aperture sizes, but nothing worked. I switched to shutter mode … still crap. I couldn’t get the shutter button to release quickly ….. and couldn’t find the setting to make sure I was on continuous shooting. I kept getting this weird display on the back of the camera, and called my friend Kim in Virginia (a Nikon user) in the middle of the game for help. It was, quite simply, a photographer’s worst nightmare. I’m sure the Nikon is a great camera ….. I simply had no idea how to work it. And if it had been any other game of the season, I would have just chalked it up to a learning experience and moved on.
But, it wasn’t any other game of the season. It was the last game for me to attend. And it was a game that we not only won, but we won so easily (and remember, that is NOT me being all Braggy McBraggy Pants …. we have lost more than we’ve won this year) that our coach was letting boys play positions they never played before. Five different boys got to play quarterback, he let two of our linemen run the ball in for touchdowns, we had interceptions, quarterback sacks, and even a blocked punt. In addition, it was the game where my nephew finally “came back” after an ankle injury and then his burns from falling into the fire at the lake. He has patiently come to every practice, and stood on the sideline of every game, supporting his team mates. I have a few great pictures of him carrying water bottles to the other boys, but last night was my chance to finally get some pictures of HIM on the field. And he had a great game …. he blocked a punt, sacked the QB, made some great tackles, and ran the ball in for a touchdown. And guess what? I got none of it.
In a nutshell, it was the one game of the year where I had opportunity to get pretty much every boy on the team doing something great. And while I am so, so sorry it was at the expense of the other team (who, despite my crossed fingers and best wishing, did NOT score against us either ….) I was hopeful I would get home last night, load the pictures onto my computer, and have great pictures to share with everyone of what was easily our best game of the season.
Um, no.
510 frames of total crap.
And I was so disappointed, that I felt like crying over my computer screen last night.
Why? No-one cares. It is not a big deal to anyone but me.
But I was awake at 3 am this morning, with a ball of frustration in the pit of my stomach, lying in bed for an hour wondering if there was any way to salvage the images before just getting up at 4am, going to the computer, and seeing again, that no, there was not.
Why? No-one else is putting any kind of pressure on me. Why do I think its so important?
Even more importantly, why I have I just spent 20 minutes composing this blog entry and whining to all of you about it?
I’m just sad. Our team will never have another game like last night because the season is almost over. Next year the boys will all move on to school football. That was my last chance, and through no fault of anyone’s, I missed it. I tried to rent a lens and make it work …. the guy at the camera store tried to help me …. just lousy timing and bad luck. But I can’t help but feel like I let the boys down. They played so well and I would have loved to have captured that. Especially for the ones who finally, after a long, hard year, had a chance to shine last night.
I know in light of Ft. Hood and Orlando the rain forest and AIDS in Africa, that a few measley football pictures are no big deal.
But still ……
Let me share with you a few of the “could have beens” ……
Our second touchdown run of the evening. The first touchdown was an interception, caught by one of our linemen, that I missed completely because I couldn’t get the damn shutter button depressed. While I got this one, you can see why I don’t think it will be on any NFL posters.
Here is my nephew, making his first, and possibly only (he IS a tackle, after all ….) touchdown of the season. I know my sister will be so happy I captured this moment for him … in all its blurry glory …
This was another great moment. Kellen’s best friend Chance, who is normally a wide reciever, got to play a few plays at quarterback. I’m sure these images of those moments will mean a lot to him and his parents …. or they would, if they could even tell this is their son in the photo.
Here’s another one of our boys making a touchdown. The ref, with the touchdown arms in the back is a nice touch …. too bad not one single part of the photo is in focus….
Here’s my nephew again, in his element, making a great tackle …. yep, this one’s a beauty. A keeper for sure.
And lastly, Kellen, making his second interception of the entire season. This one is actually not terribly out of focus, but naturally I was on the opposite side of the field so he’s tiny in the photo ….
I’ll try to negotiate well when ESPN comes calling. Because Lord knows I can’t ask this team for a reference, with shots like this.
17 Responses to The one where I whine about how disappointed I am and the rest of you tell me to get a life already
November 7th, 2009 saat: 7:44 AM
I certianly feel your pain Kristie. I tend to get caught up as well. But, can I just say your “crap” “awful” pictures are on par with what I would consider my “good” pictures and if it was my kid in any of the pictures you posted on the site I would snap them up and be very happy and grateful. They are totally and happily scrapbookable in my house. (That may give you and indication of what my scrapbooks look like)So, before you delete them or trash them, make sure you offer them up to the other parents. I for one, would take them and be THRILLED!!!!
November 7th, 2009 saat: 7:55 AM
You know there are at least 11 of us who are feeling your pain, right in the pit of our stomaches. The picture of Landon and Kell came out, well not horrible. Actaully, Landon’s is really good and Kellen’s, you can still see how stinkin’ skinny he is. That is all you are going to remember anyway!
Glad to hear that he at least won this one. I am with Kelly, at least it was now, not during picture day! What lense did you have???
November 7th, 2009 saat: 8:04 AM
Julie, thanks for the nice comment ….. the smaller images inserted here on the blog don’t really do the blurriness justice. You should see what a mess they are blown up on my full computer screen!
Kim, I was using a 70-200 mm f/2.8 That’s what I’ve been using to take any sports photos that are outdoors, but not in nice daylight (ie, evening football, baseball at dusk, etc.) I haven’t tried it with indoor basketball yet, but we’ll see. I put the ISO on 1600 and shoot on shutter mode, bumping up the shutter speed as the evening progresses and it gets darker. While they’re not poster-worthy, I’ve gotten fairly decent images that way this season ………. since the lens was the same, and I know the Nikon was good, the only problem was my complete cluelessness with the camera!
November 7th, 2009 saat: 8:04 AM
No, no, no! Kristie, you give yourself too little credit.
As a parent who would have been so far away my little point and shoot would never have gotten a decent shot, I would be ELATED to receive one of these pictures. Blurred or not, ELATED! The thought that you got my child at all, in his glory; who cares if it’s blurred…it’s my kid…and my kid and I would know it…and his grandparents, when we showed them would know it…and when I posted it on Facebook, all my friends would know it.
I know how incredibly, terribly disappointed you must be. And I’m so sorry you didn’t get the images of the game that you could have had your equipment cooperated. But I also know the parents will be thrilled with whatever images you captured of their budding athletes!!! (I “know” alot, evidently! LOL)
Congrats on a fun season!!
November 7th, 2009 saat: 8:14 AM
Oh Kristie- I am so sorry. I kept thinking about it last night.
But the light is so good!
November 7th, 2009 saat: 9:06 AM
To be completely honest, most of those look fine to me. Of course, I know nothing, not even basics about photography…I’m your point and shoot girl (and that so did not come out right in light of the recent happenings here in America, but I think you know what I mean). I know they probably look awful to you, but I’m sure most of the parents will really appreciate the effort and the fact that there is some photographic evidence (if a little blurry at times) of their kids having fun. I absolutely enjoyed them. So, while I completely understand you being hard on yourself (and you are totally justified to do so), I would offer up the pics to the parents because I know they will appreciate and love them.
November 7th, 2009 saat: 12:02 PM
Kristie – the thing that stands out to me in your post other than your disappointment is the fabulous attitude you have towards your kids and their sports.
There are too many parents I find out there for whom winning is not just “fun” it is everything. I don’t know many people who would actually cheer for another team to score against them because of how good that would feel for the other kids.
To instill that kind of sportsmanship into your kids will be far better than getting 510 perfect photos and only one blurry one.
November 7th, 2009 saat: 1:10 PM
Kristie, are you smokin’ crack or are my eyes still out of focus from sleepin too long today? I think those pics are fine. Maybe if you actually print some of them, you will see that they aren’t too bad. As a Canon user, I would probably freak too. I take pics for the FFA when we have something going on or a trip. The advisor always takes pics, but they have a 50/50 chance of turning out. And of course she doesn’t take 75 of just my kid either. I always appreciate the pics that she does get, because those are pics I couldn’t have without her. You are doing a great thing and I appreciate the effort as a parent that has done the same thing – even when my kids didn’t play the sport! So be easier on yourself – you are awesome!!!!!
kimybeee
November 7th, 2009 saat: 1:33 PM
Kristie…I feel your pain. But you do know…you’re always welcome to borrow any of my lenses. That is not an offer I would make to anyone, but I am happy to help out my fellow “gotta capture this moment” friends.
November 7th, 2009 saat: 4:25 PM
Being the crappiest photographer in the US, I think they’re just fine. I realize your pics are usually magazine worthy and maybe these aren’t quite that good, but I’d sure put them in my scrapbook. I take a million pics of my babies, hoping for just one good one and I usually get one sort of decent one. Cut yourself some slack, woman! You didn’t let anyone down, just yourself…a little….not that much….really!
November 7th, 2009 saat: 8:56 PM
Rats. That is a bummer about the camera. I forgot to take ours today–last game of the soccer season. Story of my life. But, even if I had taken it, my pictures would have been terrible! At least when you’ve got YOUR camera, you take sweet pics!
November 8th, 2009 saat: 1:49 AM
Kristie, if it makes you feel any better we are the parents to a now 13-year-old boy. One. That’s all. And we have no photos of his first birthday and you know why? No film in the damn camera. My frustration with this hasn’t passed in 12 years. Hopefully yours will pass sooner!
November 8th, 2009 saat: 11:33 AM
Oh, I’m so sorry. I get it’s not that big of a deal in light of other major issues, but it is still hard on a Mom’s heart to miss something so special. I’ve had my share of camera issues as well, but I’m not nearly as good as you! I have a point and shoot that is slowly dying, and my husband “gave” me a camera for Mother’s Day. He knows enough to know that something like that I want to pick out. It is now almost my son’s 11th birthday, and I don’t have a camera because it is so overwhelming to make a decision about what to buy! I love the ease of my little camera. It fits in my purse so easily, but I love using my dad’s “real” camera when I have the chance. It is just so much bigger that I wonder if I will lug it to all of the baseball games, fair trips, beach days, school events, etc. I’ve got to make up my mind soon though. My camera is not going to make it much longer at all. I hope you get your lens back soon and can get back to taking the fabulous pictures you are used to taking. Your family and friends are so lucky to have you documenting their lives! Even these less than perfect photos will remind them of this amazing night of football.
November 8th, 2009 saat: 11:42 AM
Celebrate the ones you get. It’s more than most parents ever see. Even on a good day I think only about 10% of my pics ever get shared because it’s hard to shoot good sports photos even in good conditions (for which DARKNESS does not qualify!). There are countless moments to photograph that you haven’t even imagined yet. You will capture some, others will slide through your fingers. You are a step ahead of me because every time something exciting happens when I am shooting, I put the camera down and forget to shoot! Congrats on a fun season–there is nothing worse than an “un-fun” one!
November 8th, 2009 saat: 3:03 PM
I totally feel your pain – since we only have a image from a VIDEO camera of Kody’s only interception last week. The one that I DIDN’T GET TO SEE! I’m still pissed. I feel your angst. I’m sorry. To be totally honest, the ones that you posted aren’t bad!!!!!
November 8th, 2009 saat: 5:20 PM
Kristie, you’re frustrated, and even a little bit angry. I would be too, if I were in your shoes. Unfortunately there’s not a thing you can do about it except treasure your blurry photos. Those are better than nothing.
You ARE a great photographer UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES. It’s too bad that the stars weren’t aligned properly for this game, but life will go on. At least you were there to see it live and I’m sure that means a lot to Kellen.
November 8th, 2009 saat: 5:56 PM
Sorry the photos didn’t meet your standards. Like the other commenters said, they are still good enough to jog the memory to recall the glory of that evening in later years. I love how compassionate you are to the other team’s members. God bless those boys, huh? Working hard all season, even without any of the joy of scoring, never mind winning.
And of course, your perspective about the REAL troubles in the world is spot on. But you are entitled to grump about your troubles, because they are no less true or agonizing, just because other misery exists in the world. And your loyal readers love to get your hilarious commentary about it all! Hope you get to feeling better soon about everything, and congratulations to Kellen on that interception.
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