Seriously. Do these things not happen to other people?
We had our final Bible Study of the session this morning, and afterwards we decided to go out to lunch for just a bit more fellowship. On the way, because I am nothing if not vain, I grabbed my lipstick out of my purse, to freshen up oh-so-safely in the rear-view mirror. I removed the cap and noticed the “stick” part had broken off. It must have gotten lodged really tightly in the lid of the cap because I couldn’t get it out to save my life ……. so, I threw the entire thing away in the trashbag I keep in my van.
Fast forward to this evening. There are few things in life I avoid more than the mall, Target, or pretty much any shopping venue between the day after Thanksgiving and the day after New Years. So I took the chance this evening to leave the kids at home with Blaine and try to finish up as much Christmas shopping as possible.
I parked at one end of the mall, walked all the way to the other end looking for various things, then walked all the way back. Then set off the security alarms trying to leave the mall, only to discover that one of the stores forgot to take a sensor off a jacket I purchased. Naturally, it was the store on the other end of the mall, so I walked back and forth, the entire way, again (stopping half way to nourish my exhausted body with a garlic-parmesan pretzel and a soda …. naturally.)
I finally returned to my van. I put the bags in back, then opened the drivers door.
And noticed red streaks all over the drivers seat.
Apparently, the tip of the lipstick was NOT stuck in the tube, but instead had fallen, between my legs. And I drove around this afternoon, and then got out of the van, smearing the lipstick all over the seat.
And unknowingly, walked all over the mall with a giant red clown smile ON MY ASS.
34 Responses to Seriously. Do these things not happen to other people?
November 24th, 2009 saat: 10:58 PM
Oh Kristie, this sounds like something that would happen to me… I feel an especially tight kinship with you after this!
November 24th, 2009 saat: 11:33 PM
Oh my goodness, that is so bad. And so funny. But not to funny
November 25th, 2009 saat: 12:15 AM
Lawd. I’m speechless, in a writing sort of way. I can honestly say that I’ve never, ever heard of that happening to anyone else. Have you been praying for God to send you some good blog fodder? You might want to dial those prayers back just a weeeee bit….?
November 25th, 2009 saat: 12:19 AM
I so love your life. Thank you for always being candid…
kim
November 25th, 2009 saat: 12:21 AM
What? No photos!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 6:06 AM
There is nothing like Kristie Escoe humor to start my day, this story is too funny. Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving and hoping that the upholstery in your van is leather…..
November 25th, 2009 saat: 6:20 AM
That made me laugh!! Sorry. But it is REALLY funny.
November 25th, 2009 saat: 6:29 AM
My husband was TDY in Germany and on their way to a walking tour, the group shared a chocolate bar. Unbeknowst to him a piece of chocolate had fallen between his legs, melted and smeared all over his pants. So he walked all over Germany with a huge brown smear on the back of his pants. It wasn’t until about 4 hours into the tour that someone in the group took pity on him and told him. When he got home and told us the story we called him “Johnny, Johnny poopy pants” for weeks. See it happens to other people also!
)
November 25th, 2009 saat: 7:43 AM
Hilarious! And you know it is!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 8:43 AM
That is so funny and entertaining… for us! I am so sorry for your embarassment but really that is stinking hilarious.
Happy Thanksgiving!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 8:43 AM
That is so funny! I know you’ll laugh about it someday. And just think how much joy you brought to so many weary shoppers!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 9:34 AM
Oh my!!!! Just imagine all the laughter and smiles you left behind you – literally!! Just look at it as a public service to entertain those around you!! tee hee
November 25th, 2009 saat: 9:43 AM
I don’t know if they happen to other people or not but thanks for sharing. It makes the rest of us feel more normal.
PS Was the lipstick really smeared on your pants?
November 25th, 2009 saat: 9:56 AM
I think these things only happen to you.
If they do happen to other people, they’re not brave enough to admit it! Thanks for sharing your stories w/us, and adding a smile to our day.
November 25th, 2009 saat: 10:41 AM
Oh. my. goodness.
Good thing I was home alone as I read this because I guffawed loudly as I got to the end. (End – get it???)
November 25th, 2009 saat: 10:50 AM
I was sitting at work reading your post this morning — laughing as I was picturing this scenario and then picturing the look on your face as you discovered what happened (lawdy…lawwwwdy). Yes, definitely adds a kick for the weary shopper. Thanks for never ceasing to bring a smile to my day – in a friendly way though…
Not laughing at you, but with…Just keep swimmin’!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 10:57 AM
Nope, that has never happened to me Kristie…………. Too blasted funny that it happened to you!!!!!!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 11:23 AM
Oh Kristie…so sorry but thanks for the laugh this morning….
November 25th, 2009 saat: 11:25 AM
Laughing. Out. Loud.
November 25th, 2009 saat: 11:39 AM
I laughed, and this will be my funny thought to carry me through the day.
Jay laughed and said that sounds like him, but his version is chocolate.
(I commented to your comment about family time.)
November 25th, 2009 saat: 11:44 AM
Look on the bright side – you made lots of mall shoppers laugh their asses off (no pun intended) today!!!! Only you, my friend, only you…..
November 25th, 2009 saat: 12:03 PM
If it makes you feel any better, one of the Mom’s at my daughter’s student led conferences showed up wearing pants that had big lips on the backside…..and she actually bought them that way on purpose !!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 12:51 PM
Hello Kristie, thanks for the laugh, now I really don’t feel so alone, that is how things work for me. Happy Thanksgiving!!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 1:53 PM
Yikes. I’ve had the misfortune of sitting in chocolate happen to me before. The worst part is trying to convince everyone that it’s only chocolate!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 7:19 PM
I love your blog….You are so down to earth…and you make me laugh…when I really need it…Thanks!
November 25th, 2009 saat: 8:08 PM
Well, I’m sorry that happened, but it brought a smile to my pounding head
Of course, your posts usually do!
Lucy
November 25th, 2009 saat: 9:51 PM
M & M’s + Heated Car Seat = Rainbow Buns
You are not alone!
November 26th, 2009 saat: 12:10 AM
Only you Kristie, that made me chuckle.
November 26th, 2009 saat: 12:39 AM
This kind of thing happens to me all the time… but it isn’t nearly as funny when I tell it.
You’ve got a way with words. Love reading your blog.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving!
Kari
November 26th, 2009 saat: 12:44 AM
Hahahahahaha! Nope…never happened to me. But I have walked around with toilet paper on my shoe, lipstick smeared across my face and my shirt on backwards.
You make me laugh!
November 26th, 2009 saat: 1:59 AM
Thanks for the smile (hee hee) this morning.
November 26th, 2009 saat: 7:08 AM
I love it. Absolutely love it. It’s not that I’m enjoying your misery….it’s that I’m SO…STINKIN’…HAPPY…that I’m not the only one. Being able to laugh at oneself is a good thing. I’ve learned that for myself it’s a necessary thing. And to be quite honest, it makes life interesting, PLUS, it makes GREAT stories to tell the grandkids someday!!!! Ah…good times.
November 26th, 2009 saat: 8:29 AM
Vegetable Oil will get the lipstick out. Dab a little on a paper towel and blot the stain until it’s gone.
I know this works because when my son was 2 years old, he got into my lipstick and decided to color on the carpet.
November 26th, 2009 saat: 10:03 AM
Too Funny! Have a great Thankgiving! so much to be greatfull for!
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