An Open Letter ….
…. to the man sitting behind me at my son’s basketball game last night:
Dear Sir,
Shut the hell up.
If you want to coach, and yell at the players, then might I recommend you actually BE a coach. I can guarantee you that rec leagues and youth leagues all over are constantly in need of parent coaches. Yes, there is a time commitment, and you must possess a willingness to work with children, but the benefits are endless. Shaping lives, shaping minds, the joy and satisfaction of crafting individuals into a team …. I bet if you played your cards right, you could even get the league to throw in a whistle and matching beanie.
But until such time as you are willing to actually BE a coach, then sit down and shut the hell up. No one wants to hear you coaching from the stands. If you know so damn much, get down there and do it yourself.
Additionally, it stresses all of us out when you are telling your son to do something different than what his actual coach is telling him to do. You are yelling at him from one side of the gym, and his coach is yelling at him from the other. The poor kid is going to have a stroke. Let me remind you that in organized sports, coaches trump parents. So put up and help, or shut up.
Same goes for pacing the sidelines, and bad mouthing the refs. If you know so damn much, get out there and spend some time as a referee.
Additionally, I don’t understand what kind of adult finds it necessary to clap and cheer when the opposing team misses a free throw, but for goodness sake, they are eleven years old. Not NBA players …. jeering from the stands shouldn’t be allowed until the players are being paid for their sport.
So again, let me just tell you, to shut the hell up.
And one other note about sportsmanship —- when your son’s team is down by one, in overtime, with only a few seconds left, and we have the ball, we all understand the need for an intentional foul. We all heard your coach call for it …. we all expected it. Your son, actually, reached around, and very effectively, without malice or intent to harm, successfully fouled. Instead of hollering encouragement to him, for doing exactly what the coach had asked, you found it necessary to yell loud enough for the entire gym to hear: “By God, if you’re going to foul, make it worth your time — foul him hard!!!”
Really? Was that really necessary??? What kind of young man are you raising, anyway?
Yes, in case you weren’t sure, when I looked behind me and mouthed the words, “What a jackass!“, I actually WAS looking at you.
And just so you know, when my son’s team beat your son’s team by one point in overtime, and I did my little fist pump of victory in the air, it wasn’t because I was so happy your son’s team lost. In all honesty, it was a very good game … played fairly, by two evenly matched teams. I was just happy that WE beat YOU.
So shut up and don’t come back until you can keep your fat yap shut, and set a better example for your son and his team mates. Because something tells me this wasn’t a one-off for you, and I can only imagine how the other parents on your team must feel about you, week after week.
Toodles!! And best wishes to your son, who truly did have a great game, in SPITE of you.
Kristie
20 Responses to An Open Letter ….
February 1st, 2010 saat: 10:43 AM
I wish I had your way with words and I hope this jerk-off sees this. We’ve all seen him!
February 1st, 2010 saat: 11:25 AM
Yeah! What she said!
February 1st, 2010 saat: 12:02 PM
Someday, I hope to write a letter that starts with “Shut the hell up” and ends with “Toodles!!”. You’ve got this letter writing thing down, Kristie.
February 1st, 2010 saat: 12:42 PM
Wish you could have hand delivered the letter.
I was at my nephew’s baseball game a while back (10 y/o) when the coach came over and asked one of the dads to be quiet. He was very diplomatic, asked the guy if he wanted to come help ALL the kids as his “coaching” only his son was distracting. He was quiet the rest of the game.
February 1st, 2010 saat: 12:59 PM
touche!
February 1st, 2010 saat: 1:44 PM
How are you able to NOT say anything? You have the poise and patience of a saint.
February 1st, 2010 saat: 2:08 PM
My husband has coached baseball, basketball, football & soccer. I can’t even begin to count the number of kids in the last 30 years. But…..everytime he saw one of his players looking at their dad when they dad was telling them what to do, my husband pulled the player out of the game and said that he/she was welcome to go sit on the sideline with his parent and listen to his instructions there. Worked everytime
February 1st, 2010 saat: 3:41 PM
A few years ago I could have written this letter…several times!! UGH!!!
Oh, and did you ever hear back from your Nasty Gram?
February 1st, 2010 saat: 3:49 PM
Okay, I’m a lurker. Been one for a long time but I HAD to respond to this one. AMEN!!!!! My 8th grade daughter plays church league basketball and it is just unreal. Our church family celebrates with each basket made. Regardless whether it is our team or the opposing team. They other parents are just like this man. It is CHURCH LEAGUE for goodness sakes! Let them enjoy it!
February 2nd, 2010 saat: 6:36 AM
I heart you Kristie! I think we should all make copies of this letter and pass them out at the entrance to every intramural, church, recreational and shit every high school game!!!
February 2nd, 2010 saat: 9:11 AM
It’s possible that he isn’t coaching the team because he isn’t allowed.
I’m a former (sniff) soccer parent that was very involved in the program. We didn’t allow coaches, parents, grandparents, or siblings to behave like this. Is there anyway the ref could be “empowered” a litle more? They should have the ability to stop this behavior thru warnings and/or banning.
One of the most rewarding memories of watching my sons’ games was seeing a 14-year-old female ref send a 30+year-old obnoxious asswipe parent to the parking lot.
February 2nd, 2010 saat: 10:14 AM
AMEN! When my husband coached CYO girls basketball there were some pretty ugly things being said by opposing team parents and this letter sure would have come in handy! Why do adults have to go and ruin kids fun? Kudos to the boy for following his coach’s lead and playing a clean game despite the bad advice from his father.
February 2nd, 2010 saat: 10:18 AM
Great letter! There are some parents I’d love to give that to.
February 2nd, 2010 saat: 11:53 AM
Amen, sister. Those parents are the WORST and we all have them at our games. Think I’ll print this and carry in my purse for future use.
February 2nd, 2010 saat: 1:40 PM
I’ve attended more than one of my kids’ games where parents were so obnoxious that they were asked to leave the field/gym and the game didn’t continue until they did! It’s terrible! I feel so sorry for the kids…it has to be humiliating to them to have dad escorted from the field. But some people never learn!
Hope the guy gets a clue!
lenaya
February 2nd, 2010 saat: 3:19 PM
My husband used to coach a rec football team when we were dating. He didn’t have any kids of his own on the team – he didn’t simply b/c he loved the sport and wanted to be a good role model for the kids. I would go to the games and sit in the stands with the parents. They had no idea who I was or why I was there – and they CONSTANTLY belittled their kids, the coaches and always had a “better way.” Yet none of them showed up for practice each day. None voluteered to help. Most couldn’t be bothered to look up from their blackberries except occasionally. I hope every one of those parents find their way to this letter.
Very well said!
February 2nd, 2010 saat: 9:33 PM
I always read and never comment. So well said, Kristie. My husband is a coach (for little ones), but I would be so proud to have either of my daughters play with your kids. You and Blaine are great parents!
February 2nd, 2010 saat: 10:10 PM
Sounds like the typical “hockey dad” here. Sadly though that kid probably got shit from his father all the way home for everything he did wrong, real or otherwise.
February 3rd, 2010 saat: 3:26 PM
You are too funny! This reminds me of a SouthPark episode! lol I hate these type of parents – they make me see red!!!
One year I coached a 7 year old parent pitch softball team for little girls…. It was the most horrific experience of my life. I will never do it again. The parents-and other coaches were horrible. How can people take kids games so life and death? It escapes me! Well said Kristie…
February 12th, 2010 saat: 6:26 PM
You are my idol.
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