…a long way, baby! 

Happy 11th Birthday, Kendrie!!

Normally, when we got to the lake to wake board and knee board and ski and tube, that’s what we do.  Sometimes well, and sometimes not so well, but we do them and have fun.  But this past weekend, clearly, we were multi-taskers to the nth degree.  Just look at all the things we managed to do WHILE we were on the water!

Play one of the boys’ favorite sports, football:

Give piggy back rides:

(that didn’t work so well, by the way, and should probably come with a “don’t try this at home” disclaimer ….. I’m just saying ….)

Remember the kids’ game called Crack the Whip?  Well, here’s how you play in the water — instead of holding hands, everyone holds onto the ski rope and does their best to hang on while Uncle Cliff drives about .075 miles per hour across the calmest portion of the lake:

And then everyone decides it might be eaiser with their faces in the water:

And yes, we have a thumbs-up that things are going well:

And then everyone laughs joyfully because this is the BEST THING EVER!!!

I mean, the heck with buying expensive water skis or wake boards or inner tubes ….. just throw the kids a rope and tell ‘em to hold on for a hundred yards!

And of course, after all this fun and frivolity, you never know when you might need to rest, so its good to be prepared:

Then, we decide to channel the personalities of our favorite TV shows, like That 70′s Show:

American Idol:

And my personal favorite, and perhaps the most appropriate, WIPE OUT:

Obviously, gravity is much, MUCH stronger at this lake than anywhere else on the planet.

That, or we just fall down a lot.

Ya’ll.  Seriously.  All I can say is, thank goodness this most recent pregnancy didn’t cause any permanent damage to my bladder, because the following image(s) almost made me WET MYSELF today, I was laughing so hard.  And while that might not be the kindest thing a mother has ever said about her own child, let me rush to reassure you that if there had only been one Depends on the boat this afternoon, my sister Kelly would have fought me for it, because she was laughing JUST AS HARD as I was.

I mean really.  Have you ever seen a face more hysterical than this???  Well, sure, he starts out ok …..

You know, just enjoying a weekend with his cousins, and getting his knee board groove on.  But then things start to deteriorate pretty quickly:

And its all downhill from there.

And at this point, I had to just set my camera down and quit taking photos.  Because I knew if I laughed any harder, I would be in danger of falling overboard.

God bless Kellen, is all I can say.

OK, well, technically, it was a Thursday.  And it wasn’t night-time, since the 7th and 8th graders normally play their games after school.  So no lights, because at 4 in the afternoon, the sun is still shining nicely.  

Um, shouldn’t there be some other boys lined up with him here?  Maybe on either side of him?  Because looking at this photo, I’m pretty sure he’s fixing to get squashed like a bug.

He’s definitely not the biggest.  Or the strongest.  Or the fastest.  But he is hands down, the cutest.  And while I know every other mother in the stands has the EXACT SAME THOUGHT about her own son, I am the only one on the field with a camera, so I get to claim it with photographic proof.

I’m also glad it was only a scrimmage, and the boys will be allowed to wear actual, real jerseys next time, and not those beat-up practice jerseys.  Because my gosh, you shouldn’t dress handsomeness like this in ragamuffin clothes.  And who knows?  A real jersey might even make him run faster next time.

Ok, I don’t normally like to be all Braggy McBraggypants about my kids and the wonderful things they do because quite frankly, its much more fun to tell you about their faults and fallacies and to make fun of the way they butcher the English language on a regular basis.  What is the point of being a parent if you can’t keep an online journal and embarrass your children as often as possible???  Case in point:  Kendrie, just this week, “Mom, what is this puberty ring I keep hearing about?”  Me, “Um, I think you mean PURITY ring, right?”

But Kendrie did something last night that was so sweet, so touching ….. SO proof that she loves Blaine more than me! 

He had to travel to TX yesterday to see one of his cancer docs ….. was up and out the door to the airport before the kids woke up, and didn’t return home until way past the point of them going to bed.  I was laying the “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if Daddy came home, late tonight, to a nice clean house???”  line on the kids pretty thick last night.  I could hear Kendrie working in the living room for a few minutes, then she came in and asked me to see what she had done.

This is what I found:

Can’t quite tell what it is?  Well let’s look more closely:

A “Reserved for Dad” sign, above one end of the couch that reclines, just in case any axe-murderers broke into the house and mistakenly thought it might be for them ……

and what exactly was she reserving?   This:

Blaine sleeps downstairs, in the living room, every night.  Even the occasional night when he starts out upstairs in bed, he winds up downstairs because he is on round-the-clock pain meds, and has been for years.  Once he wakes up at 2 or 3 am to take pain meds, he has trouble falling back asleep until they kick in, so he goes into the living room and watches television.  Then if he is able to fall back asleep, he typically does so in his recliner.  He’s definitely got a routine down, though, and Kendrie has clearly paid more attention to it than any of us realized. 

What she set out for Blaine, so he would be ready for bed when he finally arrived home at that late hour (photo, top to bottom):

Remote control and headphones.  The headphones are because before we moved our master bedroom upstairs, the noise from the television (Blaine watches hour after endless hour of the Military Channel, all night long, guns shooting and soldiers yelling and firefights and tanks blazing and airplanes crashing and my GOSH the noise drove me absolutely batty …..) would wake me up, so we bought headphones.  They’re fantastic, actually, and get quite a bit of use from the kids, too, even during the day. 

A pillow, so he could rest his head.

A bag of Corn Pops, because despite being 46 years old, that is what he snacks on at night.

Pain meds. (Should I be surprised or horrified that she not only knew what he would need, and how many he would need, but she also apparently knew where he kept them ????)

A little bucket with Coke, and Boost, to help him stay hydrated, and also freezy packs to keep them cold.

T shirt, pajama pants, and a jacket, because Blaine gets so cold at night.

Blanket, which every single night Blaine drops on the floor while he is sleeping and the dogs wind up laying on.  No, I have no idea why the linens in my house constantly smell like WET DOG.

And right there, I present to you, as evidence that my daughter is hands down, no contest, a daddy’s girl …. the proof is in the recliner.

As always, the first-day-of-school surveys yielded some interesting information from each of my children.  I do miss the days when they answered simpler questions, such as “How tall is Dad?” with “55″ and “How old is Mom?”  Also “55″.  As they get older, their answers aren’t as silly or as funny, but I still love the glimpses into their personalities, likes, dislikes, hopes, worries, and dreams each year.  I really recommend you do this with your own kids.  Even if you’ve never done it before …… and especially if they are young enough that you can get some truly entertaining answers. 

2010 – Brayden, age 13 – 8th grade:

The best thing that happened on the first day of school:  “I made a new friend who loves Justin Bieber as much as me.”

What I had for lunch the first day:  “A chicken sandwich”

When I grow up, I would like to live:  “In a nice house.”

When I go to college, I think I will be:  “A good student.”

I think Kellen:  “Is a good Ninja.”

I think Kendrie:  “Is a good sister.”

2010 – Kellen, age 12 – 7th grade:

The best thing that happened on the first day of school:  “We formed the N.A.S.A.; Ninja Assassin Sinister Alliance.”

What I will miss most about summer:  “Swimming.”

What would make this school year perfect:  “Having all my classes with friends.”

When I grow up, I would like to live:  “In Japan.”

After high school, I want to:  “Go to college in Japan on a Ninja scholarship.”*

When I go to college, I think I will be:  “Good at it!”

I love:  “Family, and the weekends!”

2010 – Kendrie, age 10 — 5th grade:

I think my favorite subject this year will be:  “Social Studies”

Because:  “I love Social Studies.”

I am not looking forward to this class or subject:  “None.”

Because:  “I love it all.”

The best thing that happened on the first day of school:  “When Christian flipped a desk over by accident in a game.”

What I will miss most about summer:  “Mom taking me to lunch.”

When I grow up, I would like to:  “Talk to kids with cancer.”

My favorite hobbies:  “Soccer, Karate, be hyper.”

I think Brayden:  “Has Justin Bieber fever.”

I think Kellen:  “Is a great saxophone player.”

If I could skip school for one day, I would:  “Go to Steak N’ Shake, or go to my granddad’s house in Dallas.”**

*Yeah, good luck with that.  Because Ninja scholarships are just falling from the sky for thousands and thousands of students.

**I would just like to point out that her granddad doesn’t LIVE in Dallas.  Perhaps that’s a sign we should visit him more often.

As suspected, our first day of school traditional photos were a complete bust.  Kellen had to leave the house at 6:45 am, and it wasn’t even light enough yet to take his photos.  Since Blaine drove him to the football stadium for before-school-practice (which today, apparently involved getting the team photo taken and then sitting around doing nothing for the rest of the morning ……. but I guess at least they didn’t have to brave the showers the first day!) that meant he wasn’t around to take photos with the girls when they were ready to go, either.  I suggested we “fake” the first day this weekend, and the kids could put their same clothes back on and Blaine could put on work clothes — you would have thought I suggested he single-handedly re-grout the local swimming pool, so great was his disdain for my idea. 

My consolation prize was a photo of all three kids by our administration sign when school let out for the day.  What you don’t see is my friend Alisa, waiting behind me to do the same thing with her kids, as well.  Good to know I’m not the only one faking photos in the afternoon.  Although if I were taking odds, I would bet her husband won’t have to put on “fake” work clothes and pose for more pictures this weekend.

**Surveys coming later …..

Brayden, age 13, grade 8

Kellen, age 12, grade 7

Kendrie, age 10 (but 11 in just two weeks, as she continually reminds us!), grade 5

Um, just how the heck did they get to be these ages, in these grades, when I wasn’t looking???

We have a few back to school traditions, like forcing encouraging my kids to take photos with Blaine every year on the first day, and forcing encouraging them to answer the surveys I give them each year.  One of my favorite traditions, though, is our annual Night-Before-The-First-Day-of-School-Dinner at a local Japanese steakhouse.

When we lived in Georgia, the year after Kendrie was diagnosed with cancer, someone sent me an anonymous gift card to the local place there for Mother’s Day.  To this day, I still have no idea who did it.  But we went, and liked it so much, we decided to go again the night before school started that year.   And then, to keep the restaurant “special”, we decided that would be the one and only night each year we would eat there …. we haven’t missed a year yet, and went tonight as well.

This evening’s quality family time didn’t start off so well, as there were two big birthday parties there ahead of us and since we didn’t have reservations (seriously, this is the first time in seven years we haven’t been immediately ushered to a table ….) we had to wait almost 35 minutes to be seated.  By the end, Kellen was practically prostrate on the floor, bored out of his mind and STARVINGTODEATHGEEZCAN’TWEJUSTGOTOMCDONALDS??????? 

Then I got annoyed with him because for goodness’ sake, you’re almost 12 and a HALF years old, I think you should have the self-control to sit here quietly, without complaining, for half an hour.  Then Brayden oh-so-helpfully made a comment to him, which made him mad, and pretty soon we were having one of those “hissing under my breath about how we are eating here for dinner and you will LIKE IT IF IT KILLS YOU because its our TRADITION for goodness’ sake!!!!” moments.

Soooooooooooo, who else is more than ready for the kids to start school tomorrow?????

Anyway, by the time the first flames whooshed up in the air, everyone was happy again and the evening was salvaged.  At least until 10 pm, when I remembered that I had forgotten to buy Kellen a lock for his football locker and I had to go to Wal Mart for a last minute school supply run at that late hour.    That certainly wasn’t the highlight of my evening …. but this was pretty good:

You know what tradition I’m NOT going to continue?  Trying to capture non-flash photos in dark restaurants ….. my gosh, these pictures reek.

Since school starts here in just a little over 36 hours, I thought I would reflect on our summer and all the fun things we did …….

Yep, lots and lots of fun things ….

I’m just sure …….

Ummmm………..

{{crickets chirping}}

OK, so apparently sitting around, listening to me kvetch about my heartburn and refusing to leave my air-conditioned house was perhaps not the greatest summer EVAH for my children.  But they survived.  And I’ve already promised that *next* summer, we will get up and do something.  Perhaps even leave the state. 

But only if the air conditioning in my van is working.

In the meantime, here are a photos of the few things we managed to do in 2010, regardless:

Perfect our ninja skills:

Hang with the hounds:

Despite having passes to the local amusement park, which means we can ride all the rides we want, and see all the shows we want, they decide that life is only worth living when we spend every spare dollar we can scrounge on the stupid midway games:

Win as many prizes as humanly possible, no matter how much it actually costs in the end, even if you have to resort to borrowing against future allowance money, but then you realize that now, you can’t buy that awesome key chain you saw in the gift shop, well, sweetie, that’s learning about money management the hard way, isn’t it:

Take said prizes and whack each other with them:

Eventually, ride the stupid Tilt-A-Whirl, just to shut mom up about spending all your money on those silly games:

It felt like we spent the majority of our summer waiting for this:

To become this:

To become this:

Until at long last:

We had lift-off!

In the meantime, I got really big:

But finally, all that heartburn paid off:

Took the kids to the Science Museum:

Let them enjoy a few back-to-school parties:

And then pretty much spent our life savings on back to school supplies:

How families with eight or nine kids can afford to do it is beyond me …….

And that’s pretty much it.  Kendrie started tae kwon do (sp?) last week and its stinking adorable.  Hopefully I’ll get pictures of that soon ….. just learning to tie the belt properly took me three days …. Kendrie has “Meet Your Teacher” tomorrow, Kellen starts football Friday, and Brayden is one of the yearbook staff in charge of candid photos of the first day back to school.   While I’m thrilled they are all finding activities to try and learn, I must say as a scrapbooker, that wreaks havoc with my tradition of first-morning-back-to-school photos ….. they have to be in three different places at three different times, up to an hour apart. 

Guess this will be the year I have to photoshop a kid or two into the family picture, right?

Our pantry is one spot in our house with no air vent and I am very sad to report that apparently it was so hot yesterday that my Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies melted and stuck together.  (not that it will stop me from eating them, but still ….)

PS.  and yes, those of you who are Facebook friends with me might notice I just posted this as my status update … all that proves is a)  I am a multi-tasker, b) I have nothing noteworthy to blog about today, and c) I am really, truly sad about the cookies.  It was almost a full package!!